Tuesday, March 18, 2008

MY FANFICT part 2

This is the second part of my draft... comment me!

“Henk? I know it’s a lot to take in. I’m so sorry.”
“Cassie’s dead. No she can’t be. She’s not dead!! No. Was it the HIV? This is all my fault. I can’t look after a child; I couldn’t even look after Cassie. I’m pathetic. What have I done?” Henk began to sob more and more violently, “Oh Rachel I should never have gone near her. I ruined her life.”
“Henk, this isn’t your fault. You didn’t know you had HIV until it was too late. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”
“Whatever.” Henk stormed out of the hospital, jumped into his car and drove off.
“What the flamin’ heck was all that about?” Irene asked, she had to work late at the diner and had no idea what was going on.
“Oh Irene, I’m so sorry”

A memorial was held in Cassie’s honour a week after she died. Henk couldn’t stand to be in Summer Bay anymore.
“Everybody’s blaming me,” he told Rachel “and they should be coz this is all my fault. I have to get out of here. I’m leaving Summer Bay”
“Henk I know you’re grieving but there are other issues here. You’ve got a baby girl to take care off. I understand if you don’t feel fit to look after her right now but trust me you will change your mind. She’s a part of your life now. What would Cassie think of you if you abandoned her child? Your child?”
“You think I don’t know that Rachel!? I let Cassie down and I don’t wanna let our baby down but I can’t, I just can’t take care of her on my own. Rachel, I can’t”
“Well we can’t keep her in the hospital for any longer. Either you have to get your act together and take responsibility for her or find another home for her. The choice is yours; I just hope that for once in your life you will make the right one.” Rachel’s patience was wearing thin. She didn’t want to deal with Henk, not after what he’d done to her all those years ago. She just hoped that he would make the right decision.

“Rachel, are you okay?” Tony had just arrived home from work at the gym. “Come here.”
He held his arms open and embraced his fiancé. “You’re home early. Why are you crying? It’s that Henk isn’t it? What has he done, Rachel?”
“I’m fine, Tony. It’s just I’ve been so busy I haven’t even had time to think about everything. And seeing Henk so often and having to talk to him, day after day, after all that he’s done to me, having to comfort him, it’s too much. And Cassie, why did she have to fall in love with him. Look what’s happened. She had her whole life in front of her, Tony, and he’s taken it away from her. He’s even considering leaving the bay. Without the baby. Cassie didn’t deserve this, Tony, why did everything have to work out this way?”
“It’s okay Rachel. Everything will be okay. I think that same thing all the time. Young Cassie had her whole life ahead of her, I just don’t understand it. But we have to accept it. All we can hope for now is that Henk won’t let his kid down like he has everybody else.”

3 comments:

minnie-mouse said...

what do you reckon? should i leave it there or continue?

sweet-niblets said...

i really wanna know more. :)
i hate chiffhangers...and the way your storyline between henk and his baby seems unfinished at the moment.

sweet-niblets said...

i think maybe a wrap up would be good. i don't mean like a full-on ending like in movies, books etc...but a sum up!
does that make sense?
'cause i think if you leave the storyline as it is at present it is more like the actual "Home and Away" tv show and not your own fanfiction. :)

also maybe some pictures of the characters or home and away stuff so other people can associate the characters with something visual....and to look pretty!!