“Johnny? Is that you? I told you, you shouldn’t ring the house phone. Do you want the others to find out our secret?” Sally whispered on the phone.
“Sal, who’s on the phone? Is it Matilda? ‘Cause I’m expecting a call from her tonight.” Ric queried down the hallway.
“No, it’s not Ric. It’s just Brad calling about school matters.” Sally answered anxiously.
“So that’s your pet name for me eh? Brad. I kind of like it. Anyway, I got some news from the hospital today and…”
“Johnny I’m serious, don’t call here again! I will meet you again tomorrow at the other location. And this time don’t let us get caught, Goodbye.” Sally replied angrily and she slammed down the receiver. Her heart was beating so fast and she was lucky no one was present in the room at the time, as her face expression would have revealed everything.
Dan hardly said anything all night and it was obvious to Leah something was up. She also had been carrying the burden on her shoulders for a week or so now and it was starting to really wear her down. He couldn’t go on with another sleepless night; he was mentally exhausted and told himself he had to sort the issue out with Leah once and for all.
“Leah. Leah, are you still awake.” Dan questioned her softly as he sat upright in the bed.
“No Dan. I’m having trouble sleeping. There have been a lot of things on my mind at the moment and with…”
“I know Leah. I know what has been on your mind! Why did you think you should keep this kind of secret from me?”
“What? How did you…”
“I knocked the cookie jar off the shelf by accident, while I was cooking tea this evening, and found the envelope. I just can’t believe that Johnny is your own flesh and blood. I also can’t believe you wouldn’t talk to me about it. I thought we told each other everything?”
“I know Dan. I’m so sorry.” Leah blubbered as she reached out for Dan’s warm embrace. “It just came as such a shock when my adopted mother sent me these documents suggesting a DNA test with this stranger who turned out to be my real mother. Then finding out my mother had another child 2 years after me, Johnny Cooper.” Leah cried hysterically in disbelief, as Dan tried to calm her down. When she settled, they sat in each others arms all night considering how their future would pan out now this horrible man was apart of their family.
7 comments:
omg!! dramatic!!!
is that the end?
i don't know.
i don't know if i should i make that the end??
its definitely long enough...
but on the other hand the whole sally and johnny storyline is unfinished in my opinion and needs something a little more to let it end on a high. 'cause we all hate johnny cooper :)
yeah i think you should wrap it up otherwise ull just leave me in suspense for the rest of my life
=)
i was just reading the other fanficts and i was thinking mayb it would be best to make this into a closed chapter rather than an ongoing thing.
maybe you could look on fanfiction.net for some ideas on how to finish it.
just a suggestion ^ ^
yeah I agree with the other comments - it would be good to finish this chapter.
overall some good stuff - but like a lot of the fanfict stuff I'm reading it is difficult to get your head around all the characters - especailly when they are often all introduced at once (especially as in your first chapter)- this all settles down in the second half of the second chapter and I'm more drawn int to your narrative. I've noticed that a lot of fanfict provides an introductory setting of the scene (usually in italics) which leads the reader more gently into the narrative.
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